Field Notes: I sought the LORD

Psalm 34

1 I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.

 4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.
6 This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
   he saved him out of all his troubles.
7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
   and he delivers them.

 8 Taste and see that the LORD is good;
   blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.
9 Fear the LORD, you his holy people,
   for those who fear him lack nothing.
10 The lions may grow weak and hungry,
   but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.
11 Come, my children, listen to me;
   I will teach you the fear of the LORD.
12 Whoever of you loves life
   and desires to see many good days,
13 keep your tongue from evil
   and your lips from telling lies.
14 Turn from evil and do good;
   seek peace and pursue it.

 15 The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
   and his ears are attentive to their cry;
16 but the face of the LORD is against those who do evil,
   to blot out their name from the earth.

 17 The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
   he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
   and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 19 The righteous person may have many troubles,
   but the LORD delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones,
   not one of them will be broken.

 21 Evil will slay the wicked;
   the foes of the righteous will be condemned.
22 The LORD will rescue his servants;
   no one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.


I really struggle with myself sometimes - today I wrestle with dullness of heart and angst.  God, where are you? Where is your Holy Spirit? Where is the fire that used to burn so brightly? Restore me, inspire me, send me, let me soar on your wings once again.


I fear falling asleep - spiritually.  My soul feels like a plugged up fountain, clean water ready to burst forth being blocked by an invisible force of "waiting and dullness".  Hey God! I have a lot to give, a lot to offer, a lot of energy and excitement ... didn't you know? I'm only 22! Oh yeah, I suppose you do, you're God.  Well, then what gives!? Oh yeah, patience.  I'm not so awesome at that.


Father, what does it mean to completely surrender to you? Even in my boredom?