Support Update: Africa

Well hello there! Here's an update on how the support raising is going.  By the looks of things, I will not be going to Cote d'Ivoire this fall.  This is a sad day, but a good day because there is probably going to be another team leaving in March! Yay! Would you consider joining my team? If you'd like to here about the ministry we will be doing in the Ivory Coast, click here & watch a pretty lovely video that explains it all...well, at least most of it :)

There is a theme in my life these days...friends seems to keep commenting on how everyone's life seems "picture perfect" on social media (of course, who would post the bad stuff?? fb & pinterest are places for celebrations of life and the occasional prayer requests) but we don't see the hard, crying, irritated broken souls that go through season after season of life.  I suppose that just has me thinkin' that its time for me to post some "real" things again.

How about this: I'm scared and crabby almost everyday.  I have a plane ticket to a foreign country and no money to get there or plan to get there. I cry everyday, pray almost every minute that my really ugly soul doesn't damage someone else with its negativity & my stomach is in knots pretty all the time. I'm jumpy. I don't even have a job if I can't raise enough to go by September. Ugh, and have I mentioned students loans...yay, I thought so. Somedays its just "grinding it out" with Jesus.

But there's the deal: I don't trust God nearly as much as I should, but I know he's real.  I know Him.  That's what makes this really stumble-y journey worth it.  Because I just love him and want to follow him and get my strength from him.  My humanness is pretty bleak - its really gross actually.  I don't nearly have enough fun and I'm pretty much swamped with everything, but I love Him. I know He's my path and I have a pretty good idea today where's he's leading me - so even on the sucky days I still have someone to talk to 24/7 who actually likes me.  I am really really not perfect - neither are you, neither is your neighbor or that gal that wears all those cute clothes all the time.  All that outside stuff has NOTHING to do with their inside stuff.  They're a messed up person too. I don't care if she's "got the man" & "the clothes" or "talent" - I bet ya she's hurting too.