Single or Married


I was mulling over a few things while driving to work (this is my thinking time) and my thoughts wandered into the realm of my married friends; I've accumulated quite a collection.  There's Whit and Derek, Pat and Brit, Joel and Marlys, Mike and Kait, Kristina and Scot, Scot and Stacey, Corissa and Jeremy, Dan and Katie, Jess and Peter, soon to be Cam and Noelle & Lydia and Seth, Liz and Steve, even my mom is married... wait...

Anyways, all of a sudden there's this new undefined factor tossed into all of our relationships and I've noticed that a lot of us singles have a peculiar time navigating beloved old friendships that now have another body thrown in. Because, its not just a body.  Its another dude. Its another gal. Who are they? Do I even know them? Are we still friends? Why are they spending all their time with their husband?? Feelin' a little jealous over here....and kids??? Um, excuse me...you did not clear this with me! Any of that sound familiar?

I've watched friends (and myself) wrestle with all of these questions; and I have great, Jesus-loving friends, these aren't crazies from the-drama-department-of-life (well, sometimes we go there, but we try to keep it at a minimum ;).  The point being that I think its pretty normal not to know how to handle your best friends jumping into a phase of life where you can't follow...yet. It can be pretty painful, or pretty awesome.  It depends on the focus - is it you and your friend, or is it Jesus and what he is doing in your friend's life and how you can be a part of Him making them into something beautiful, with their spouse.

No surprise, I advocate the latter.  Not only does it explain what is going on in your new style of friendship, but it makes you oodles happier when you approach it like that.  Its important and very freeing to remember that you don't own your friends - you just get to walk with them for a while. And you love them.  Remember that.  You love them above your own expectations for them. That's important too.

So the last thought that ran through my mind before I parked in the icy lot at work was: how can I love my married friends? Like, really, love them: love that they're married, love their husband/wife, love their kids, love that they spend time with their family. Plus, married friends really demystify the whole thing 'cause you know they're just as bonkers and clueless are you are.

Love,