Field Notes: Striving

Let's be honest for a second - I don't really want to "be all that I can be" - I just want a good book, a cup of tea, a kiss from M and maybe a thrilling plane ride or two before I die. Become a career woman? No thanks, pass the butter please.

I find that ambition can go the wrong way if you're not lookin' too hard.

All around me I see folks climbing and graspin, never happy ... hmm, never enough...maybe that's why America consumes 35% of the world's energy while holding only 5% of the world's population. We never seem to be content.  "It would take more than six planets with the same resource supplies as earth in order to sustain a global suburban lifestyle."  - source

This sort of ambition never leads to fulfillment. What are you working towards? I used to want it until I asked myself why - the answer lies in my Ego.

Well, I suppose I'm a hypocrite - I'm writing this to you from the basement of a well-to-do suburban class home. Its very comfortable - a private wildlife sanctuary in the backyard. 

What I'm getting at is to ask "what is all this striving, grasping, and consuming for?" The appetite never seems to abate.  So, if my purpose in life is to work so I can gain more money so I can buy more things, so I can be happy ... the logic misses me entirely. Be a career woman ... no thank you. I'm not trying to impress you.

**When I first wrote this I left out something very important:  I don't think its a crime to be wealthy or have a lovely home.  It can be a real blessing to your family and others.  I don't think its wrong to work hard for something or dedicate your life to a cause. On the contrary, I think serving is precisely what God asks us to do.  Its lovely to enjoy the fruits of your work. Yet, what I often see and feel around me is the pressure, the prevailing culture, to work in order to gain more, to become more, and to achieve success that fuels the ego or personal pride of an individual for which we are never satisfied.  The result is a sub-culture of depressed and anxious people who feel they are somehow worth less than the "successful".  I'd rather pass on that rat race. **