Yesterday I had a revelation, its obvious...no wait...its subtle....no wait...its both. Fear, worry and negativity bring you down - they stop your brain function and don't accomplish a thing. They are momentarily gratifying to the wounded frustrated soul, but then they kill it. They do not help you make decisions, they DEFINITELY cloud your judgment, they hurt your heart and ruin relationships. Not good tools for dealing with life.
But the thing is, before last night, I never thought of them as 'tools' - like somehow you could pick up or discard them whenever you chose. They are poisons, tools of destruction, or simply lame ducks - like you're on a journey or in a battle and you've chosen a broken stick... smart move slick, what are you going to do? Splinter the monster to death? Or better idea! Drink the poison yourself so the monster doesn't have to lift a finger - you blind yourself. And guess what!? Turns out, the weapon turns into a monster too and the longer you hold it, the more of you rots away from the inside. Clearly, something is wrong here.
No, you want a weapon that defeats that which defeats you - to bear a sword that is the antithesis of the evil you face - that's the ticket! Where fear is loud and painful, a reflection of distrust and weakness, it would be quiet, subtle, resilient and true. What defeats fear? What is its opposite? Why, it is hope, it is kindness, it is peace. Hope is a weapon. Hope is a sword, peace is the arrow you choose to fight your enemies. Do not choose the foolish weapons of fear and worry, anger or gloom. Choose that which can actual defeat these enemies of peace. Pick up peace and thrust it, trust it, cling to the tools that God has promised you. Do not pick up doubt, it WILL destroy your heart.
All of a sudden, I realized that fear and worry actually keep you from growing, keep you from seeing the value in every situation, when I realized that they keep you from trying and moving ahead, "when you say you 'can't' you won't try, you've lost before you've begun. They wrap you in the mire, and keep every good thing from you- especially peace. So, I resolved to cast them aside, continually. What horrible tools to bring on the journey, they thrust you down and assure you, you will not finish!
Arg! Why do I crave and cling to this pitiful tools when I can cast them aside for something better. There is no rule you must use them to battle in this life, no, we are told we can use something better. We can look down the table and beneath the shiny allure of foolish weapons, there are subtle, stronger swords to fight with - swords that will defeat fear, eradicate hopelessness and redeem a broken heart.
Hope is SWORD. Well, duh, I finally got it into my head. Don't you want to finish the journey? Don't you want to battle with strength and truth and love?
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:10-13
Notice that it says "PUT ON" - well, I guess the good weapons do not come naturally, as I always thought they would. I thought you were either born with a hopefully spirit or not, you were either a born worrier or you were not. I never thought of them as weapons I could pick and choose - I have never been a warrior, just a small girl. But every warrior or journeyer must start training sometime, they much pick up a weapon or tool to begin. Now, which do you choose?